The stories we tell ourselves matter. They dictate how we view ourselves, and they uniquely affect the actions we take. If you’ve been stuck in a loop of behaviors you don’t love, it’s not because you’re broken—it’s because your brain has learned a story and stuck to it. The good news is: stories can be rewritten.

Healthy does not always mean being happy! Sometimes in healthy relationships there are extremely uncomfortable situations. But those uncomfortable situations contribute to the overall health of the relationships and ultimately make it happier and more successful in the long run. Read more for the 12 signs of a healthy relationship!

Too often when I show up for myself or for the people around me it comes from motivation to be better. I want to grow stronger, be wiser or become something new. I pump myself up, envisioning who that new me will be or look like. I have plans and for the first few days start off so strong; everything feels changed.

Life is full of circumstances that we cannot control. In any given moment, things could be better and things could be worse. It’s all about how we choose to respond to our current circumstance.

Making the choice to be thankful—to find something (no matter how small) to rejoice about—has the power to shift our heart attitude. This choice is not always easy. I have found myself struggling with this recently. It feels like if I have a thankful attitude, it means I need to be ok with the pain and heartache of the hard stuff. It goes against my human nature.

We can find belonging more wholly in generous relationships, when our confidence isn’t coming from others. And not only can we find it for ourselves, but we can also create it for others: making spaces where people are welcome, loved unconditionally, and authentically desired.